Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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