It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
