im six kinds of drunk right now
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Can I color on your dick again?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
