remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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