NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
