I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
