U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
