Im at strip club and am horny
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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