He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
