Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
