i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
