sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize