do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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