Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
