well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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