if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
