he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
