Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
