just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
porn star boner night. come get it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize