He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
