The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
