Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
