Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
that is very illegal...i love you.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
