hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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