Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
