His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
