dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
