Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
