He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
