I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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