why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
