he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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