Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
