sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
