Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
