i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just gift wrapped bread.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
