I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
