I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
