I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
this is an emotional support booty call
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
