He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
