it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
