My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize