Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
