Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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