Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
