They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
