got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
