I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
