You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
