Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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