butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
