so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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