This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
