I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So many bounce houses so little time
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
