hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
