Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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