Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
