I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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