Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
