i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
